it has been so long.. after we passed all 3 auditions, where uu see in the 2nd audtions, all my other frens who got thru got kicked out and in the end.. after all that, we emerged as top 20 contestants for the competition of Campus Superstar.. hahaas.. den uu see me.. being the least noticed (sorta) in the 'arena' slowly gaining ppl who supports me =)) and i'm grateful for that..
but tonight.. once again.. it was an emotional one.. no matter how hard uu try to resist that urge it keeps wanting uu to just let it out.. just let ur feelings flow..
actually ii was mentally prepared for tonight it'll be either me or adriano.. cos in my heart.. ii sorta knew that Renfred was definitely gonna make it no matter wad.. sighh.. altho ii craved to compete with Adriano in the Finals.. and same for him to me.. sighh.. and after ii was the first to get into the Grand Finals, ii hugged Adriano so tightly.. ii really didn't want it to be him..
but when the results were announced.. uu just feel that sense of.. sighh.. but ii just managed to resist it.. but after we just saw everything we've gone thru.. all the cutesie stuff, all the fun times.. it just.. adds on to that aching urge to cry..
and you just really wanna pour it all out when he just mentions dat he has high hopes in me and he believes in me and he puts the competition into my hands now.. it's a burden ii would wanna carry for him, but at the same time, i'm afraid it would wear me out.. once he finished his sentence when he said 'zhiyang shi wo xin mu zhong de guan jun' it's just.. that sorta feeling dat would kill you..
BUT TONIGHT ii told myself no matter wad, ii can't cry.. so nopes.. ii din pour out and cry or anything.. afterall a man's tears are precious youu noe hahaas.. sigh.. but nearly lars.. ii was really touched.. touched by wad everyone have been thru together for the past 3 months, touched by wad everyone craves for me, touched by the hopes and trust they gimme, touched by the fact that there are ppl out there who still believes in me.. it's been so much.. and ii noe ii can't give up here.. and that ii have to give that punch all out to do it for all these ppl.. all these ppl who have given me the encouragement to carry on.. not just my family, my frens, and the contestants in the competition.. but it's.. really just.. everyone.. =))
finals would be 2 wks away.. and ii noe my votes are way below renfred's (don ask me how ii noe.. ii can sorta predict anyways) but no matter wad! for one thing, ii totally have to do my very very best in this last lap!
to everyone out there who's feeling sober about the results.. seriously.. everyone is.. no one wants such elimination to happen.. neither do ii.. totally. but let's just face the facts.. this competition.. is not as ez as it seems already.. and for me to manage to crawl so far.. ii hope there's smth up my sleeves dat ii can use to save myself lers! =))
it's getting late.. and ii really love ADRIANO AND CLARA!!! and all out there who supports me, including those that trusts me in the competition: Alejandro, Khim, Sheena, Shermaine, Sam, Yinwei, Yangce, Yuyang, Yiyuan omg.. ii should just go on and name all the contestants! BUT REALLY ii love all of you and ii have to work harder now.. for that dream.. for that passion.
`zhiyang.